Archive for August, 2010

 

Hey people,

Listen, I’m all for a comfortable workplace, but napping on the job? I mean, siesta seems to work out in some countries throughout the world; it’s possible it could work in the U.S., too. On the other hand, what about small businesses that deal with just as much stress as the big nine-to-fivers, albeit usually on a different scale. For instance, can the standard proverbial mom and pop shop deal with their already comparatively small staff taking time out to steal a few Zs? Of course, it is up to each individual business owner/management team to allow such a practice, but should this be offered as a perk to any job? I know at my job I can’t exactly doze off without either the boss, or a coworker coming in, or the phone ringing, or something else coming up. Maybe I am just in the wrong job for this to even be a possibility. Anyone else think this is a good idea? Does anyone out there actually take advantage of such a fringe benefit? Please share with the rest of us so we might live vicariously through your experience.

–The Dead Peasant

 

Hello fellow mediocritans:

To start things off, I would like to take you on a journey through a day in the mundane life of your standard Peep marshmallow candy.

This story teaches us some important lessons about life, love, and even the many uses of a piece of that sugared marshmallow treat, other than eating the little bastards. That’s right kids- it is important to remember to always protect yourself against the dangers of unwanted childbirth and diabetes, in this case, both at the same time.

The song is perfect, as it starts out slow and builds as our, ahem, “hero” goes through his day and things get progressively worse. This speaks to the experience of many people who are “lucky” enough to currently have a job. While it pays the bills, sometimes this kind of banal existence can cause a person to lose all sense of rationality in a one-night-only free-for-all that effectively just compounds an already stressful life. Just be careful, maybe eat more candy and laugh a little to numb the already anesthetized existence most of us carry on day to day.

-The Dead Peasant